Adventures in Northeast Kansas

Well, I am back from my trip to Kansas City this weekend, and it was quite an adventure and a disaster at times. Let me tell you why....

FIRST OF ALL, let me just preface this entire story by telling you that Thursday, the day before the trip, I found out that I was suffering from the following things:

A) A UTI (Is my UTI TMI? Sorry about that, but I'm not embarassed)
B) 3 bulged discs in my back (the results finally came in, now I have to have a consulation)

So, I am in all sorts of pain before the trip even begins. I was looking so forward to just relaxing, and now I have to deal with all sorts of crap and medication)

Okay, so keep that information in your mind as you read about my excursion: For starters, Cam and I had a "Home Alone" moment on Friday morning, as we both slept through the alarm clock. We rushed around and made it to our terminal at the EXACT MINUTE our plane was to take off. So, we were seriously running through the airport and we were so late they didn't even check our boarding passes. (Note to self- if I ever want to hijack a plane, just arrive really really late and they won't check my boarding pass. JUST KIDDING! Seriously Mr. Douchey von Government who is monitering my internet use and phone calls- I AM JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE PLANE HIJACKING).

So, we arrived in Kansas City and picked up our rental car: a sweet-ass Chevy Cobalt. We got it for $8.95 per day from Hotwire. ALWAYS use Hotwire for your travel needs. It is awesome. We had lunch with my high school friend Josh Downing, who is interning in Kansas City right now and doing wonderful. It was awesome to see him. He said it was great getting to see me and meet the man I'm going to marry and that now he "doesn't feel so weird" about me getting married. He thought I was a lesbian I think...

Anyway, moving on. Cam and I drove to Manhattan, blah blah blah. The wedding was in Manhattan, and I was scheduled to practice with the pianist at 5:30 for the 2 songs I was supposed to sing in the wedding.

So let me tell you about the music situation: This is the wedding of one of my best friends. I have sang at a lot of weddings, but none are as important as the weddings of my friends and family. I don't want to ruin one of the most important days of someone's life. The 2 most disasterous wedding situations for me have been A) Dwayne's wedding because I got a sinus infection and could hardly talk let alone speak and it was terrible...but I got through it and B) Amy Noel's wedding because I was so sick with the flu that I couldn't get out of bed to sing at it. The Noel family thought I was hungover, and they still hold it against me to this day. But I really did have the flu. Mom knows- she nursed me through it. So, what I'm saying is- I don't want to mess up a wedding, and rarely have. And going into this wedding I feel good. Heather says that this pianist has a Doctorate in Organ. She plays the organ at the church and works for K-State in the music department. So I feel fine. I mean...I always miss Peggy English (formerly Pittenger) from Coffeyville at times like this because she is SO AMAZING as an accompanist. But still- Heather said this woman's reputation was good, so I trusted it.


I SHOULDN'T HAVE. First of all- the lady (Sue I think) didn't show up at 5:30 to practice. Secondly, when she DID show up at 6:30 she DID NOT KNOW THE SONGS. Matter of fact- she said that she had NEVER HEARD THEM and was playing them for the first time tonight. I was SO PISSED OFF. I couldn't believe it. But on the other hand I decided to trust her because I know that good and well-trained musicians can learn quickly and pull it off. They are just like that. Andy, Greg, Dad, or Dwayne could learn a song on Friday and play it beautifully on Saturday. So I decided to put my trust in professionalism.

I also want to mention that the songs were "Feels Like Home" from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and "At Last" by Etta James. Really, Sue? You've never heard "At Last"? Were you born in a bubble? She seriously had never heard it. Which I guess is okay. So when we started to practice it we learned that it was in the wrong key and it needed to be transposed to where Etta originally sang it...it sounded best there. So, Sue says that Friday night and Saturday morning she will learn "Feels Like Home" and "At Last"...and that she will also TRANSPOSE "At Last" into the higher key. I trusted her.

Again, I SHOULDN'T HAVE. I show up at 4 p.m. on Saturday, the day of the wedding, to practice with Sue. The wedding starts at 5 p.m.

SUE DOESN'T KNOW AT LAST AND THE WEDDING STARTS IN ONE HOUR. I hate Sue at this point. She stumbled through it and said "Some of these chords are still getting me". PLUS- She played it with NO SOUL AT ALL. She plucked the chords and it was terrible. I REALLY missed Peggy then...because Peggy not only would have know the song- she would have improvised and played it amazingly.

I HATE SUE.

So, At Last is the first song of the wedding. It starts well. I jammed the verse out. But then comes the bridge- SUE STARTS PLAYING THE WRONG CHORDS. My first instinct tells me to stop and tell her to get on track because that's what I am used to doing when the accompanist gets off key- BECAUSE THE ONLY TIME I HAVE SANG WITH AN ACCOMPANIST WHO GETS OFF KEY IS IN FREAKING REHEARSAL!!! But...I'm stuck. I can't. I am stuck singing this beautiful song in a key that I can't figure out for the life of me. It was the longst 8 measure of my life....and I'm sure of the congregation's as well. I am searching for the pitch and ruining At Last. But it wasn't my fault- you can't stay on pitch when the accompaniment is not on pitch. Cameron actually thinks that I was on the right pitch the whole time...it just sounded terrible because the accompanist wasn't playing in the same key as I was. By the last few lines I get back on track and I do what I know is best- END AS STRONGLY AS POSSIBLE TO MAKE UP FOR THE REST OF THE SONG. And I did. But the damage was done.

I HATE SUE.

The second song was fine, and we got through the wedding. After the ceremony I snuck out the back door, met Cameron, and cried for like 20 minutes. I was just so upset about sounding poorly at my best friend's wedding. I don't search for notes at a performance. I am a perfectionist when it comes to being prepared. Even Grandma's funeral, where I had 2 days to learn a song I had never heard before (plus the song was written by a non-musician who had no sense of what are appropriate note jumps and pitches). I practiced and I pulled it off- because I was not going to ruin my own grandmother's funeral with my singing. Not cool.

The other thing that bothered me in addition to ruining my best friend's wedding was that I was SO EMBARASSED that people would think it was just me being shitty. And it wasn't. But if you are not a musician than you can't tell the freaking difference as to whether or not the problem was the vocalist or the accompanist. And I was so afraid that people would think that I just didn't know what I was doing.

Sue never apologized or said anything to me. She got paid $100. She should have been paid $50 for the second song, and that is it.

I told Heather how sorry I was and she was totally cool about the whole thing. She knew it was the accompanist and not me, and she apologized for using her. So it was all good. But I still had to deal with the people at the wedding- I was embarassed.

Turns out- very few of them noticed and those that did KNEW that it was not me and that the accompanist was to blame (and if they didn't know I told them). :)


The reception was fun. Too much modern "booty music" though. I think wedding music should be fun for everyone, not just young people. Everyone over the age of 30 just say and watched the debauchery going on on the dance floor. Strangely, so did Cameorn and I. We are getting old I guess.

Cameron and WERE, however, the only people under the age of 50 who did both the WALTZ and the POLKA. We were excited.

After the reception- we all went out to Aggieville. Cameron had never been there (and I haven't been there since I was 16 playing at Rowdy Trouty's), so we were very excited. It was awesome and we had a good time.


So, yesterday was another horrible event. I was tired, feeling sick in so many ways, and Cam was set to fly to Chicago and me to Dallas. I threw up before the flight. I was feeling queasy, and then the flight didn't help. I have sort of a history of getting sick on planes.

But the real disaster was AFTER I landed in Dallas. I was so relieved to just be on the ground and get home. But when I went to find the car...I couldn't. I walked around, feeling sick, dragging around my luggage for 30 minutes before I decided to take another route. I called Cameron and cursed him for not remembering where the car was parked. He thought it was on Level 1 or 2...and there are 4 levels in the garage.

So, I went back into the airport and found an airport employee. This man told me "Go find a police officer. They have a system for things like this." It took me 15 minutes to find a police officer. When I did he said "Go back out to the garage and find the parking office. THEY HAVE A SYSTEM FOR THINGS LIKE THIS." So, in tears, I went to find this office. I didn't find it. I went back out and looked for the car. No luck. So finally, I went to the ATM and paid a cab to drive me around the parking garage until I found it. The worst part was that he kept saying stupid shit like "Don't you have a remote? A remote would make it easier to find" and "You should just remember where you park" and "Is that your car? Are you SURE? Take a better look". He kept repeating these things over and over. NO SHIT it would be easier to find my car if I had a remote. NO SHIT I should just remember where I parked it. And NO that is not my effing car- I know what my car looks like.

In all- it took me 2 hours, a lot of tears, $15 bucks, and lot of bullshit to find the car.

I BLAME CAMERON.


So I am home now and amped for the move. Cameron is in Chicago hopefully finding us an apartment this very minute. Then he is coming home. He hopes to fly into Tulsa to spend 4th of July with me, Andy, Amy, and Marley. By the way Amy, are we going to hang out with Curtis and Stacy?



Hope everyone else's weekend was better than mine.



Lins