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Difficult To Tell If T.J. Maxx Hit Hard By Recession

T.J. Maxx's semi-annual or going-out-of-business sale.


CHICAGO—While a majority of the nation's top retailers have reported a decided slump in 2008, economists studying the declining consumer markets are still unable to determine if discount clothing store T.J. Maxx has been affected by widespread recession.

Financial analysts, observing more than 100 locations nationwide, cited large quantities of off-brand and wildly scattered merchandise as evidence that T.J. Maxx has either been devastated by the economic downturn, or is carrying on as usual in spite of it.

"The state of this store does not in any way correspond to our standard criteria for judging long-term viability," said economist Graham Stinson, referring to Chicago's Fullerton Avenue branch, where more than half of the fluorescent lights are burnt out. "For instance, the canvas bins heaped with broken stemware in aisle six may be a sign that T.J. Maxx is on the verge of complete bankruptcy. Either that, or it's doing perfectly fine. It's impossible to say which."

Further evidence of T.J. Maxx's imminent foreclosure or, possibly, its wholly unaffected condition, included reports of shoppers rummaging through barrels of lamps up to their shoulders, multiple sightings of bras stuffed into children's shoes, the impromptu sale of in-store display cases for cash, and an excess of golf-based giftware.

Although economists were able to make firsthand observations of customers rifling through overturned clothing racks, their requests to analyze the company's financial records were met with confusion. Stinson and his team were eventually provided with a water-stained folder of handwritten receipts, but failed to make use of most of the data due to its ripped, soiled, and often indecipherable state.

Compiled interviews with customers also provided little insight. Many reported seeing "Cash Only, No Refunds" signs posted in every store and recalled having to climb over sacks of winter coats to reach clearance bins of mix-and-match earrings, leading economists to believe that the discount chain may be suffering after all.

"They must be doing really badly if they're selling this crap really cheap," said Lake Forest, IL resident Brian Crowe, carrying an armful of L.A. Gear sneakers to his car. "You've got to take advantage before this place shuts its doors for good."

Others, however, see T.J. Maxx poised to have a very lucrative year in 2009.

"That place must be doing pretty well," frequent customer Mark Rankin said. "I just saw some guy walking around with an armful of L.A. Gear sneakers."

With only one checkout lane remaining in most stores, some financial experts speculate that the retailer can no longer afford to employ workers. A two-week study of a Cleveland-area location did, however, turn up some minor evidence of a workforce, including the sighting of three folded shirts and a number of individuals smoking and playing Uno in the break room.

"Our analysis of T.J. Maxx's workforce was inconclusive, as we were never totally sure anyone was actually employed there," economist Libby Archer said. "Although, I suppose the lack of a distinct uniform could be a sign that they're doing well enough to move to a more upscale, boutique-type image for the store. That woman I saw drop a load of 20 sweaters onto a table of hats might have been the lead salesgirl."

"She did tell me to get the fuck out of her way," Archer added.

Economists were, however, able to locate a single store manager after months of searching. James Boucher, who runs the domestic department of the Smyrna, GA location, was found weeping in the middle of a sock aisle and was unable to comment on the store's current financial status—a sign that may suggest the overall mood at T.J. Maxx is more dire than previously thought.

"Oh, Jim is crying all the time," said possible coworker Anita Rouse. "He's been breaking down in tears once a day since he started here nine years ago."

9 Most Racist Disney Characters

The 9 Most Racist Disney Characters

By Ben Joseph

These old Disney movies are a little bit like your aging Uncle Frank. Honestly, he means well when he points out that Will Smith is "well-spoken." It's just that he, like the assemblage of clips below, dates from a time when people were unfairly characterized by their ethnic background (the acceptable methods are, of course, religion, geography, sexual preference and income). #9. The Merchant from Aladdin The opening musical sequence from the hugely popular 1992 animated film had to be edited due to protest from Arab-American groups for saying about the Middle East what most of us were merely thinking. Lesson Learned:  The Middle East is a barren wasteland where the justice system runs on a clear and simple limb-removal policy. Best (Worst?) Moment:  "Where they cut off your ear if they don't like your face" is the offending line, which was changed on the DVD to the much less provocative "Where it's flat and immense and the heat is intense." Whatever. Our question: In a city full of Arabic men and women, where the hell does a midwestern-accented, white piece of cornbread like Aladdin come from? Here he is next to the more, um, ethnic looking villain, Jafar. #8. Sebastian from The Little Mermaid In this 1989 film, a Jamaican-sounding crab teaches Ariel that life is better "Under the Sea," because underwater you don't have to get a job. Lesson Learned:  Up on the shore they work all day  Out in the sun they slave away  While we devotin'  Full time to floatin'  Under the sea! Are we reading too much into it? Do you see anything wrong with how they've drawn "the duke of soul" at 1:57? Still too subtle? How about at 2:01 when the "blackfish" appears? Best (Worst?) Moment:  As far as Disney movies go, you've got two choices: unforgivably offensive and just slightly racially insensitive. Sebastian definitely falls into the latter category. So while making Sebastian a charming, party-loving stereotype is a baby step forward for Disney, it's still a stumble backwards for civil rights. #7. The Crows from Dumbo In this 1941 classic, Dumbo the flying elephant runs into a band of jive-talking black crows who sing, "I'd be done see'n about everything/when I see an elephant fly!" Lesson Learned:  Come on, blackbirds acting in a manner stereotypically assigned to African-Americans isn't that offensive. At least they didn't just get some white guy to do his best "black voice." Oh, really? They did? And, they called the lead character "Jim Crow?" Um, hey, look over there! It's a convincing, logical end to this argument! Best (Worst?) Moment:  So many too choose from. The crows are very specifically depicted as poor and uneducated. They're constantly smoking; they wear pimptastic hats; and they're experts on all things "fly," so it's really a team effort contributing to the general minstrel-show feel to the whole number. You could pretty much pause this video at any second and use it as evidence in your hate-crime lawsuit against Disney. For its time, though, the portrayal of the crows was almost progressive. The crows band together and help Dumbo learn to fly, so they're counted among the heroes of the film. Remember, this was just a couple of years after somebody introduced a bill to outlaw lynching and congress voted it down. So, you know, you take what you can get. #6. King Louie from The Jungle Book Having outgrown the crude portrayal of African-Americans as black crows, in 1967Disney decides to portray them as monkeys instead. Lesson Learned:  All animals in the jungle speak in proper British accents. Except, of course, for the jive-talking, gibberish-spouting monkeys. Did we mention they desperately want to become "real people?" Best (Worst?) Moment:  Fine, so an ape singing, "I wanna be like you" might be a little subtle, in a "we own multiple copies of Catcher in the Rye" conspiracy theory kind of way. Still, considering the author of the The Jungle Book also thought up "the white man's burden", we don't think it's too much of a stretch. #5. The Siamese Twin Gang from Chip n' Dale Rescue Rangers Overt racism against African-Americans was obviously intolerable by the time thisChip n' Dale series began in 1989. Overt racism against Asians, luckily, was still on the table. Lesson Learned:  Even as criminals, Asian-Americans immigrants, represented here by a gang of cats, have become integral parts of American culture. Kidding! They own a laundromat, run an illegal, basement gambling operation and speak in horribly mangled "Engrish." It's like a designer of World War II propaganda posters accidentally quantum leaped into the body of a late '80s cartoon writer. The video becomes cringe-worthy about six minutes in: Best (Worst?) Moment:  The Siamese Cats sell their karate expert Juice Lee, a Japanese fighting fish, for a suitcase full of dead fish. If you can't find something offensive in that sentence, congratulations. You're a cyborg. #4. Sunflower the Centaur from Fantasia Of all the items on this list, this is the one Disney has tried the hardest to make us forget. Lesson Learned:  Even in Fantasia's beautiful, magical landscape, African centaurs are hoof-polishing handmaidens for prettier, Aryan centaurs. Also, 1940 was a great year to be a centaur fetishist and/or Don Imus. Best (Worst?) Moment:  It was insulting enough for Disney to include the smiling servant stereotype to begin with, but, to make matters worse, they started categorically denying Sunflower's existence with the Fantasia re-release in 1960. How does that possibly make things better? "No, you misunderstand. In our perfect, Fantasia world, Africans aren't servants. They don't fucking exist." #3. The Indians from Peter Pan In this charming musical number, the "Red Man" explains his people's history and culture. Lesson Learned:  Why do Native Americans ask you "how?" According to the song, it's because the Native American always thirsts for knowledge. OK, that's not so bad, we guess. What gives the Native Americans their distinctive coloring? The song says a long time ago, a Native American blushed red when he kissed a girl, and, as science dictates, it's been part of their race's genetic make up since. You see, there had to be some kind of event to change their skin from the normal, human color of "white." Best (Worst?) Moment:  It's a tie between Tiger Lilly's traditional Native American hussy dance, and the number of times Native American's misogynistic tendencies are played for laughs (hint: It's more than three!) #2. Uncle Remus from Song of the South The tales of Br'er Rabbit are relayed by kindly old Uncle Remus, a black man happily working on a plantation in the post-Civil War South. Disney has never released this one on home video, for some reason. Lesson Learned:  The late 1800s were a great time to be African-American and possibly on acid. Best (Worst?) Moment:  Less eerie than any imaginary singing birds is what's not in the film. It's as if someone made a children's musical about Jews in post-World War II Germany that had a number titled "Hey! Nothing Bad Has Happened to Us, Ever." Also failing to reach the screen: When the movie had its world premiere in 1946 in Atlanta, James Baskett, the actor who played Remus, was not allowed to attend. Zip-a-dee-doo-dah! #1. Thursday from Mickey Mouse and the Boy Thursday(Book) In this forgotten Mickey Mouse book from 1948, Mickey gets a crate full of West African bananas, and finds an African inside instead! Ha!" The savage soon is confused by Mickey's human lifestyle and commits acts of random violence. Lesson Learned:  "What's the deal with Africans? If they're not trying to eat it or throw a spear at it, they're worshiping it as a some sort of tribal deity, am I right?" Best (Worst?) Moment:  Where to begin? The book compiles almost every offensive preconception of Africa lurking in the American subconscious. Some choice quotes: "Well, well." Mickey laughed ... "So I'm supposed to be your governess and nursemaid, and you can't even talk!" "Let me see. A genuine African native," Mickey murmured. "Perhaps I should start showing him off." Perhaps the most depressing part is that this was somebody's idea of tolerance, back in the ideallic '40s: "Poor little guy! He just makes mistakes. He doesn't know any better. I'll just have to be patient and teach him the right way to do things," said Mickey.

7 Classic Disney Movies that Taught us Terrible Lessons

Maybe we're too hard on Disney. After all, they simply remake classic stories in cartoon form. What's not to like? Well, as you'll see, it all depends on just how much thought you apply to it. Here's seven pretty terrible lessons that Disney films taught us, whether they meant to or not. #7. The Lion King: To Be Successful, Sometimes People Got to Die Simba always knew that he was going to succeed his father, Mufasa, as the next Lion King. But fate liked spitting in poor little Simba's face, and his dear old dad got trampled to death by wildebeests. Of course, Mufasa's death was really caused by the evil Scar, Simba's uncle. Later, all grown up, he reclaims his thrown and Scar suffers the double whammy of falling off a cliff and getting torn apart by hyenas. So after two particularly nasty and horrendous deaths, Simba finally becomes the lion king. The Supposed Message: We all have responsibilities we can't ignore. And don't trust that creepy uncle. The Actual Message: In order for you to be successful, other people will have to pay. And ultimately, that's okay, because the ends justify the means! First you have Scar, who knew he couldn't be king of the pridelands until that dick Mufasa and his brat son were out of the way. So Scar did away with both of them, killing Mufasa and banishing Simba, and, as a result, he got to be king for a descent amount of time. Then when Simba started to grow some balls, he took back his throne... but only after Scar himself took a dirt nap. It's true that Simba didn't intentionally kill him, but you know who did? The screenwriter. After all, the movie doesn't end with Simba convincing Scar to renounce his evil ways, or putting Scar in lion jail.   In fact, Lion Jail isn't even real. No, the message was sent loud and clear: Simba could not be the true king unless Scar was dead. And they even arranged it so that Simba wouldn't have any of the pesky guilt that would have come with actually doing the deed himself. Everyone lived happily ever after. Except Scar of course, whose body was slowly pooped out by several hyenas the next day. #6. Cinderella: Sort of Like "The Secret" Cinderella is forced by her bitchy stepmother to clean the house from stem to stern every day. The only thing that prevents her from swallowing a bottle of pain killers is her belief that someday her dreams will come true. One day Cinderella plans to attend a ball thrown by the prince, but the fact that she has a cutthroat bitch for a stepmother completely slipped her mind. She is forbidden from going. Luckily, it turns out Cinderella has a fairy godmother, who uses her magic to hook Cinderella up with a ride, a beautiful outfit and a pair of what would seem like grossly impractical glass heels. At the ball Cinderella uses her innate flirting skills and rocks the prince's world, to the point that the next day the prince whisks her away to be his princess. The Supposed Message: Dreams do come true! The Actual Message: If you wait around long enough, the universe will practically hand stuff to you.   "Could you fix my credit score while you're at it?" No one is denying the fact that Cinderella's life was one big shit stain. But in her state of mind, she actually thought that her dreams would just sort of happen if she sat around being miserable long enough. It never occurred to her that she had the ability to just tell her stepmother to go fuck herself. Instead she kept scrubbing floors and believing that, if she continued to wish very hard and take absolutely no action, everything would fall into place. And what do you know, the bitch gets a fucking kingdom out of it. So don't worry, girls. Some kind of "Fairy Godmother" will sweep into your life at any moment, and find you a man to take care of everything. Just keep wishing! #5. The Little Mermaid: A Little Deal with the Devil Never Hurt Nobody A little mermaid named Ariel, who is presumably little in title only since she has one impressively big rack, dreams of living her life on shore and finding her true love. Well, a clearly evil sea-witch named Ursula offers to give the naive mermaid legs in exchange for something she probably might need in the future: her voice. When Ariel makes it to shore, she realizes the Sea-Bitch screwed her, as her legs work with the grace of a drunken paraplegic and she can't speak. So now she must somehow make Prince Eric fall in love with her while appearing to be either mute or retarded. By some miracle, the prince takes the bait (again, note the rack) but then Ursula, who in the cartoon seems to be portrayed as a black drag queen, goes after the couple. The prince is forced to kill Ursula by stabbing her with a ship. As a result, Ariel gets both her legs and her voice. The Supposed Message: True love conquers all! The Actual Message: A little compromise with evil is okay, as long as everything works out okay in the end! Ariel loved to sing, and she sang pretty damn well. But she wanted to live on shore and find love so bad that she made a "deal" with a "devil" and "sells" her beautiful voice, or "soul" so to speak. And guess what? It worked. Sure, the writers threw in some complications in the form of Prince Eric having to send Ursula straight to Disney Hell, but the fact of the matter remains that Ariel would never have gotten to meet Prince Eric at all had she not compromised with the evil queen in the first place. She made a figurative deal with the devil, got everything she wanted and came out completely unscathed. So keep that in mind if you have to, say, sleep with some dude to get that acting role. None of that will matter once you achieve your dreams! #4. Beauty and the Beast: Just Because He's Abusive, Doesn't Mean He's Not a Really Good Guy After a spoiled prince pretty much tells an old beggar woman to fuck off, he is transformed into a beast, as it turns out the beggar is an enchantress. And she makes it very clear that until he learns to love and thus is loved in return, there will be no ladies in his life and it's just going to be him and his hand for a very long time. As luck would have it, there happens to be a woman out there named Belle with a heart big enough to share with unfortunate-looking people such as the Beast, and she's not too bad to look at either. When her father is kidnapped by the Beast, Belle offers herself in exchange for his freedom. Against all odds, they fall in love. The townspeople snap and try and kill the Beast, but because Belle admits she loves him, the Beast turns back into a man and the two live happily ever after. The Supposed Message: Treat others the way you wish to be treated! The Actual Message: Underneath the abusive exterior of your man is a loving heart he's just dying to share with you. First of all, Belle was a prisoner in the Beast's fucking castle. Nothing says "I love you" like house arrest. Secondly, he wasn't exactly whispering sweet nothings in her ear. The Beast hurled insults at Belle at every chance, and came close to pimp slapping the shit out of her on more than one occasion. But she ignored all that unimportant trivia, because the Beast had a loving heart! Sure he gets angry sometimes, but that's just how he is. And, in the end, he turned back into a sexy, romantic prince. It's all good now. Her patience paid off, girls, and it will for you, too! If you just stick with it and don't judge your man too harshly. Or call the cops.#3. The Hunchback of Notre Dame: The Ugly Dude Never Gets the Girl Quasimodo is born with a hunched back and a face that only a mother could love. Too bad his mother gets killed by an asshole named Frollo. Quasimodo moves into the bell tower of a cathedral and becomes the hunchback of Notre Dame. He then winds up in a love triangle with the lovely gypsy Esmeralda and the aforementioned Frollo. When spurned by the girl, Frollo tries to burn Esmeralda at the stake. Quasimodo rescues her and, after that, the twisted, malformed freak is able to freely go out in public without people pointing and shaking their fists at the sky in reaction to God's twisted design. Quasimodo and Esmeralda get married and... oh, wait, no. She winds up with some other dude.   "The order goes: handsome guy, then the goat and then you, Quasimodo." The Supposed Message: Don't judge a book by its cover! The Actual Message: Ugly guys don't get the girl, even if they're devoted and awesome. That's just how it works, sorry. From the first moment Quasimodo laid his misshapen eyes on her, the poor dope was madly in love with Esmeralda. They seemed destined for each other. French society had given both of them the middle finger, and they both liked sticking it to Frollo. But just as Quasimodo was starting to feel good about himself, Esmeralda meets another guy: the dashing and completely non-deformed Captain Phoebus. And who in their right mind would pass up tall, dark and handsome for short, pale and abominable? Quasimodo ended up alone while Phoebus and Esmeralda made some sweet, sweet gypsy magic. So for you hideous guys out there, true love and heroism is great and all, but at the end of the day, we just can't have you infecting the gene pool. #2. Sleeping Beauty: If a Guy Saves Your Ass, it Belongs to Him There's always that one person who wasn't invited to the party for very good reasons, but feels they are entitled to show up anyway. The party crasher in this Disney movie happens to be a very powerful, very evil fairy named Maleficent who curses the birthday girl, Princess Aurora, to prick her finger on a spindle of all things and, well, die. Suddenly, the music stops with a needle scratch and there's an awkward silence as the evil bitch makes her exit. However, a fellow party-going fairy counteracts the curse by blessing the princess, saying that the princess will instead merely fall asleep until a prince--and she means any prince--comes along and pretty much date rapes her.   "Man, if any of you were princes, I'd totally be giving it away for free, straight up. You don't even know." Sure enough, Aurora falls asleep. But then Prince Philip (who has been stalking the princess) kills Maleficent, then kisses the princess and probably enjoys a grope fest, which will remain the prince's little secret and Aurora's repressed memory as they live happily ever after. The Supposed Message: True love will conquer all! The Actual Message: That guy who comes along and saves you from a crisis? Marry him! He's the one!   "Let's just skip to the vows, I'm in a hurry." When a rational woman wakes up to find a man practically on top of her, their first instinct would be to reach for the mace. Not our princess; she basically didn't know his ass from Adam, but she went ahead and married the guy. One kiss at the right time, and she knew she had found Mr. Right. You may notice that this winds up as the exact polar opposite of the Hunchback of Notre Dame lesson, taken so far in the other direction that it winds up being even more wrong. Never mind that "compatibility" stuff and the all the time it takes for most folks to find out if they have it. If you're in a tough spot and a handsome guy saves the day, you instantly belong to him. Forever and ever! Though we guess it only works if you're not a hunchback. #1. The Fox and the Hound: Sometimes People Are Different, and That's Awful After his mother gets capped and is presumably turned into a tasteful wall ornament, a little fox named Tod is taken in by an old woman to be raised on a farm. Tod eventually meets a hunting dog named Copper and the two hit it off. Tod thinks the two will be friends forever, but over the winter Copper leaves on a hunting trip, and when he returns he's a full fledged fox-killing machine. When Tod goes to see Copper, he is attacked by Chief, Copper's mentor. Chief gets injured, and Copper makes it his mission in life to see former friend Tod meat packaged.   Eliminate on sight. Copper and his owner eventually find Tod and try to take him down. When a bear jumps into the fight, Tod saves Copper and his owner. So they decide to call a truce, and the two go their separate ways. The Supposed Message: Even though we're different, we can still get along. The Actual Message: And by "get along" we mean "don't kill each other." We certainly do not mean "live together." Don't be silly, you belong to different races! Our fox and hound find their long friendship thoroughly obliterated and end up trying to kill each other. Only after the member of the pursued and persecuted race does a favor for his oppressor (when the hunted saves the hunter's life) does the hound grant the fox permission to continue living. But not as equals; the hound returns to his home with the humans and the fox returns to the wild. That is how we will heal our racial and socioeconomic differences: by separating ourselves. If only we could institute some kind of "segregation" where all of us could be with our own kind, none of this unpleasantness would happen. Thanks for showing us the way, Mr. Disney!