I've Got the Global Warming Blues

This is no exaggeration:


It has only quit raining one time in four days. One time for 3 hours...in four days.

I am getting seriously stir-crazy. So is Jackie. We haven't been on a walk in 4 days.


If you turn on the weather, I'm sure you will see that it is flooding all over Dallas.


This sucks.


Lins

Adventures in Northeast Kansas

Well, I am back from my trip to Kansas City this weekend, and it was quite an adventure and a disaster at times. Let me tell you why....

FIRST OF ALL, let me just preface this entire story by telling you that Thursday, the day before the trip, I found out that I was suffering from the following things:

A) A UTI (Is my UTI TMI? Sorry about that, but I'm not embarassed)
B) 3 bulged discs in my back (the results finally came in, now I have to have a consulation)

So, I am in all sorts of pain before the trip even begins. I was looking so forward to just relaxing, and now I have to deal with all sorts of crap and medication)

Okay, so keep that information in your mind as you read about my excursion: For starters, Cam and I had a "Home Alone" moment on Friday morning, as we both slept through the alarm clock. We rushed around and made it to our terminal at the EXACT MINUTE our plane was to take off. So, we were seriously running through the airport and we were so late they didn't even check our boarding passes. (Note to self- if I ever want to hijack a plane, just arrive really really late and they won't check my boarding pass. JUST KIDDING! Seriously Mr. Douchey von Government who is monitering my internet use and phone calls- I AM JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE PLANE HIJACKING).

So, we arrived in Kansas City and picked up our rental car: a sweet-ass Chevy Cobalt. We got it for $8.95 per day from Hotwire. ALWAYS use Hotwire for your travel needs. It is awesome. We had lunch with my high school friend Josh Downing, who is interning in Kansas City right now and doing wonderful. It was awesome to see him. He said it was great getting to see me and meet the man I'm going to marry and that now he "doesn't feel so weird" about me getting married. He thought I was a lesbian I think...

Anyway, moving on. Cam and I drove to Manhattan, blah blah blah. The wedding was in Manhattan, and I was scheduled to practice with the pianist at 5:30 for the 2 songs I was supposed to sing in the wedding.

So let me tell you about the music situation: This is the wedding of one of my best friends. I have sang at a lot of weddings, but none are as important as the weddings of my friends and family. I don't want to ruin one of the most important days of someone's life. The 2 most disasterous wedding situations for me have been A) Dwayne's wedding because I got a sinus infection and could hardly talk let alone speak and it was terrible...but I got through it and B) Amy Noel's wedding because I was so sick with the flu that I couldn't get out of bed to sing at it. The Noel family thought I was hungover, and they still hold it against me to this day. But I really did have the flu. Mom knows- she nursed me through it. So, what I'm saying is- I don't want to mess up a wedding, and rarely have. And going into this wedding I feel good. Heather says that this pianist has a Doctorate in Organ. She plays the organ at the church and works for K-State in the music department. So I feel fine. I mean...I always miss Peggy English (formerly Pittenger) from Coffeyville at times like this because she is SO AMAZING as an accompanist. But still- Heather said this woman's reputation was good, so I trusted it.


I SHOULDN'T HAVE. First of all- the lady (Sue I think) didn't show up at 5:30 to practice. Secondly, when she DID show up at 6:30 she DID NOT KNOW THE SONGS. Matter of fact- she said that she had NEVER HEARD THEM and was playing them for the first time tonight. I was SO PISSED OFF. I couldn't believe it. But on the other hand I decided to trust her because I know that good and well-trained musicians can learn quickly and pull it off. They are just like that. Andy, Greg, Dad, or Dwayne could learn a song on Friday and play it beautifully on Saturday. So I decided to put my trust in professionalism.

I also want to mention that the songs were "Feels Like Home" from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and "At Last" by Etta James. Really, Sue? You've never heard "At Last"? Were you born in a bubble? She seriously had never heard it. Which I guess is okay. So when we started to practice it we learned that it was in the wrong key and it needed to be transposed to where Etta originally sang it...it sounded best there. So, Sue says that Friday night and Saturday morning she will learn "Feels Like Home" and "At Last"...and that she will also TRANSPOSE "At Last" into the higher key. I trusted her.

Again, I SHOULDN'T HAVE. I show up at 4 p.m. on Saturday, the day of the wedding, to practice with Sue. The wedding starts at 5 p.m.

SUE DOESN'T KNOW AT LAST AND THE WEDDING STARTS IN ONE HOUR. I hate Sue at this point. She stumbled through it and said "Some of these chords are still getting me". PLUS- She played it with NO SOUL AT ALL. She plucked the chords and it was terrible. I REALLY missed Peggy then...because Peggy not only would have know the song- she would have improvised and played it amazingly.

I HATE SUE.

So, At Last is the first song of the wedding. It starts well. I jammed the verse out. But then comes the bridge- SUE STARTS PLAYING THE WRONG CHORDS. My first instinct tells me to stop and tell her to get on track because that's what I am used to doing when the accompanist gets off key- BECAUSE THE ONLY TIME I HAVE SANG WITH AN ACCOMPANIST WHO GETS OFF KEY IS IN FREAKING REHEARSAL!!! But...I'm stuck. I can't. I am stuck singing this beautiful song in a key that I can't figure out for the life of me. It was the longst 8 measure of my life....and I'm sure of the congregation's as well. I am searching for the pitch and ruining At Last. But it wasn't my fault- you can't stay on pitch when the accompaniment is not on pitch. Cameron actually thinks that I was on the right pitch the whole time...it just sounded terrible because the accompanist wasn't playing in the same key as I was. By the last few lines I get back on track and I do what I know is best- END AS STRONGLY AS POSSIBLE TO MAKE UP FOR THE REST OF THE SONG. And I did. But the damage was done.

I HATE SUE.

The second song was fine, and we got through the wedding. After the ceremony I snuck out the back door, met Cameron, and cried for like 20 minutes. I was just so upset about sounding poorly at my best friend's wedding. I don't search for notes at a performance. I am a perfectionist when it comes to being prepared. Even Grandma's funeral, where I had 2 days to learn a song I had never heard before (plus the song was written by a non-musician who had no sense of what are appropriate note jumps and pitches). I practiced and I pulled it off- because I was not going to ruin my own grandmother's funeral with my singing. Not cool.

The other thing that bothered me in addition to ruining my best friend's wedding was that I was SO EMBARASSED that people would think it was just me being shitty. And it wasn't. But if you are not a musician than you can't tell the freaking difference as to whether or not the problem was the vocalist or the accompanist. And I was so afraid that people would think that I just didn't know what I was doing.

Sue never apologized or said anything to me. She got paid $100. She should have been paid $50 for the second song, and that is it.

I told Heather how sorry I was and she was totally cool about the whole thing. She knew it was the accompanist and not me, and she apologized for using her. So it was all good. But I still had to deal with the people at the wedding- I was embarassed.

Turns out- very few of them noticed and those that did KNEW that it was not me and that the accompanist was to blame (and if they didn't know I told them). :)


The reception was fun. Too much modern "booty music" though. I think wedding music should be fun for everyone, not just young people. Everyone over the age of 30 just say and watched the debauchery going on on the dance floor. Strangely, so did Cameorn and I. We are getting old I guess.

Cameron and WERE, however, the only people under the age of 50 who did both the WALTZ and the POLKA. We were excited.

After the reception- we all went out to Aggieville. Cameron had never been there (and I haven't been there since I was 16 playing at Rowdy Trouty's), so we were very excited. It was awesome and we had a good time.


So, yesterday was another horrible event. I was tired, feeling sick in so many ways, and Cam was set to fly to Chicago and me to Dallas. I threw up before the flight. I was feeling queasy, and then the flight didn't help. I have sort of a history of getting sick on planes.

But the real disaster was AFTER I landed in Dallas. I was so relieved to just be on the ground and get home. But when I went to find the car...I couldn't. I walked around, feeling sick, dragging around my luggage for 30 minutes before I decided to take another route. I called Cameron and cursed him for not remembering where the car was parked. He thought it was on Level 1 or 2...and there are 4 levels in the garage.

So, I went back into the airport and found an airport employee. This man told me "Go find a police officer. They have a system for things like this." It took me 15 minutes to find a police officer. When I did he said "Go back out to the garage and find the parking office. THEY HAVE A SYSTEM FOR THINGS LIKE THIS." So, in tears, I went to find this office. I didn't find it. I went back out and looked for the car. No luck. So finally, I went to the ATM and paid a cab to drive me around the parking garage until I found it. The worst part was that he kept saying stupid shit like "Don't you have a remote? A remote would make it easier to find" and "You should just remember where you park" and "Is that your car? Are you SURE? Take a better look". He kept repeating these things over and over. NO SHIT it would be easier to find my car if I had a remote. NO SHIT I should just remember where I parked it. And NO that is not my effing car- I know what my car looks like.

In all- it took me 2 hours, a lot of tears, $15 bucks, and lot of bullshit to find the car.

I BLAME CAMERON.


So I am home now and amped for the move. Cameron is in Chicago hopefully finding us an apartment this very minute. Then he is coming home. He hopes to fly into Tulsa to spend 4th of July with me, Andy, Amy, and Marley. By the way Amy, are we going to hang out with Curtis and Stacy?



Hope everyone else's weekend was better than mine.



Lins

One last thing...

Tonight I watched an AMAZING FILM.

You all have to watch it. It is the most eye-opening, compelling, and moving film that I have seen in a long time. And, as a Catholic family, I think that it is important for us all to see this...especially those still practicing. If you watch NO OTHER MOVIE for the rest of your life I don't care- as long as you watch this film. That's how strongly I feel about it. I'm not even going to give you a synopsis or plotline because I don't want you to make a judgement call on the movie. I just want you to rent it, no questions asked. So go do it.


DELIVER US FROM EVIL is the name of the film. It is a documentary. Watch it.

Kansas City Here I Come

Wanted to let you all know that I won't be blogging again until Monday or Tuesday. Cam and I leave early tomorrow for a wedding in Manhattan, KS. Very excited for this weekend- it is my BFF Heather and I am singing in the wedding. I am also seeing a lot of old friends and taking Cameron to my 'hood.

Talk to you all in a few days.


Lins

Ecclectic Movie Review for June 20

So, as usual I have been watching a lot of movies. But, in this case, the movies are a very wide variety. Here are my reviews:



Spiderman 3:

I love comic book movies. And I love the Spiderman movies. But this one was the worst. Here is why:

*The villians sucked (not really the writers fault because they are characters from the comic books written by Stan Lee. I'll blame him). A man made of Sand? What kind of power is that? I mean.....are you scared of sand? I'm not. An evil Spiderman named Venom is a cool idea, and I will admit that Topher Grace was awesome in the role....but the villian just wasn't very good.

*Plot was kindof stupid this time around. I like the conflict of Spiderman battling with an internal conflict, but everything else was just stupid.

*Kirsten Dunst. I HATE HER.

*Corny corny corny. These movies are always very stylized and "by the book" if you will....but the dialogue and acting was beyond corny.

Overall, I was dissapointed. It dragged and seemed very disjointed. Blah. If you care about the Spiderman movies, wait until it comes out on video.

I give it 5 out of 10 tacos. (We are back on the "taco scale")



F*CK: The Documentary:

This film was AWESOME. It's so thorough I can't really even begin to tell you the content. Just know that you will learn a lot about my favorite word- what it means, it's impact on the world/nation/society/politics/family, uses, etc. It's a great documentary- especially if you like the f-word and don't understand why people let something like words affect them so much. Mom and Dad might skip this one. But Andy and Amy I think would love it. Dwayne and Jenny....not sure. You be the judge. Just know that it's not just a bunch of filth and f-bombs. It's more of a social commentary on the word.

I give it 10 out of 10 tacos.


Because I Said So:

Alright, alright...I know you're wondering why I watched this. The truth is- Cameron went to go play with his boyfriends, and I wanted to just have some relaxing girl time: glass of wine and a chick flick. This one was actually okay because it has Diane Keaton and Mandy Moore in it. It's pretty much about the relationship between a worrying, obsessive mother and her daughter. I liked it for it what it was. Diane Keaton was awesome. She reminded me so much of Mom...not in a bad way...just in a funny way. So, I would say that if you are a girl you should check this one out. Not really that cheezy, so that was good. As far as Chick Flicks go, it was pretty good and didn't make me groan to much. I think Mom would like it.

I give it 6 out of 10 tacos.



Dave Chapelle's Block Party:

I liked this one. It's just Dave putting on a big block party in Brooklyn and taping the process. I would say that it is half comedy and half music. But, you guys might want to avoid it if you don't like the music. Some of the artists featured were me and Cam's favorites, so we really liked it. Dave has similar taste in music to ours- he likes hip hop and rap that actually means something and has a message rather than just bragging about bling, limos, and hos. And the artists that were at the Block Party were those kind of people: The Roots, Lauryn Hill, Common, Mos Def, Jill Scott, Dead Prez, John Legend. Anyway- the music was great and Dave just being funny was great. I would say if you can tolerate the music or give it a chance, you would enjoy this. I did.

I give it 7 out of 10 tacos.


Stomp the Yard:

We watched it for the stepping. (In case you are unfamiliar- black fraternities and sororities do this thing called "stepping"- they create these elaborate routines using their bodies- kind of like "Stomp" without the buckets and broomsticks. It's really cool and Cameron and I went to colleges where they had "step" competitions. They are really fun to watch).

But, that being said....don't watch this movie. It was trite and the stepping wasn't that great.

I give it 2 out of 10 tacos.


The Bourne Identity:


I know I'm a little behind on this one....The "Bourne" trilogy started a few years ago. But the final film comes out this summer (The Bourne Ultimatum), and I had always heard that the films were awesome...so I decided to catch up. And I would have to say I agree- they are awesome. Matt Damon stars in them and he is AWESOME as an action star. I think he's a great actor anyway, and he really did well as an action star. The film wasn't so complicated that it lost me (they usually are), and it was just overall awesome. So, next I will have to watch The Bourne Supremecy so that I can watch the third film this summer. If you aren't really an action fan, you will still like this. I think it's on the high end of action films.

I give it 9 out of 10 tacos.





Alright...that should do it. More to come soon.



Hugs


Lindsay

I'm shallow and loving it!

So I thought I would spread the shallow/awesome news:

I have been on Weight Watchers for a while, and I am down to the weight I was when I started college. Don't ask me how much I weigh- a lady never tells (118).

Yay!

Maybe, if things go my way, I can develop an eating disorder!!!

This is my final goal:

Kisses!

Lins

Thoughts

Thought I would share a few things with all of you.


I FEEL AWESOME. I have probably never felt so good in my life- a great feelings of excitement and contentment all wrapped up together. Here is why-

I think that I am finally pushing through my Quarterlife Crisis. Andy loaned me a book with this title after I told him what my life was like, and it really has helped me to understand that EVERYONE my age goes through what I have been going through the past 2 years. It didn't convince me that I was going through a crisis, it just showed me that what I was already going through was normal, and how to make myself feel better about it. Here's basically a long story short:

All through elementary school I was in anticipation of junior high. In junior high it was anticipation of high school. In high school it was anticipation of college. In college it was anticipation of the "real world." So, when I graduated I was left of this feeling of "what next?" And when I got a job and the anxiety of NOT getting a job passed, what was I supposed to feel? Content? Satisfied? Fulfilled? I didn't feel any of these things. Iwas a teacher in a small Texas town. Nothing amazing- not, in the least, what I felt I was capable of. I felt, I guess, passified...for the moment at least. Now I am just realizing that I rushed in to my teaching job because I was scared. But now that I have read this book at least I know that it was NORMAL that I felt scared when I graduated. I felt like such a loser because I was scared and didn't know what to do after college. I felt weak and pathetic. But now I understand that it is normal. Now I feel better about my decision to teach. It always felt like the easy way out, a cop out. But now it feels like it was just a step in my life, a step to get where I wanted to be later. Part of "the plan", I guess you could say.

Secondly, I am only now, at almost 25, getting to know myself- my real opinions and why I have them and what really makes me "tick." Just in the past 6 months, I think that I have learned more about myself than I have in 4 years of college. I have finally slowed down enough to concentrate on me (I know you all might think that ALL I have thought about my whole life is myself, but that is just not true). Now, I have this serious thirst to figure out who I am and learn more about EVERYTHING- the world, politics, other people, etc. After the constant anticipation for the next thing ends and you are left with just yourself and the rest of your life- you start to think I guess. And I've been spending 2 years doing that. Going through a crisis. It's like this- in high school you are DEFINED by your accomplishments, grades, popularity, and your "plan" for what to do with your life. The first thing people ask you is- "Where are you going to go to college?" or "what are you going to major in?" In college you are DEFINED by your major. That is the first thing people ask you- "What is your major?" It's very easy to define yourself at that time- your major is what you are interested in, and your interests make who you are. So your major must be who you are, right? Not for me it wasn't. And MAJORS say NOTHING about most of the people I know. Andy was a history major, but that doesn't define him. Amy majored in something that I can never remember, and that definetely doesn't define Amy or her interests (if I can't even REMEMBER what the major was, it definetely must not define who she is). Anyway, moving on: Then, when you graduate from college, you are DEFINED by your job. That is the first thing people ask- "What do you do?" But the truth is- what we DO doesn't usually DEFINE US. Does Kohl's define Andy? Does Acme Foundry define dad? Does being a secretary define mom? NO is the answer in all cases. So, now that I have a job, I am finally getting the chance to just SLOW DOWN and find out what I like and what I want to do with my life. And I am slowly learning that I have THE REST OF MY LIFE to do things. I can change jobs every 2 years if I want to. What an interesting resume' I would build :) For now I am teacher. I take pride in what I have done, and I have enjoyed some aspects of it. But it certainly doesn't define Lindsay Oyler. The other day, a guy I went to high school found out I was engaged and e-mailed me with "Lindsay Oyler....I thought you were supposed to become some famous lesbian folk singer. I never thought you would settle down." It made me laugh to think that 10 years ago I probably thought I would be just that (well, without the lesbian part).

As it stands- I am realizing that my life is pretty good. I have a great man who treats me like a queen. We have a dog that is hilarious; and we are a little family. Sometimes we just lie in bed and think about how great we have it all there together. I know it sounds corny, but it is true. We really like our little life that we have built together. I have just spent 2 years in a career where I learned a lot. It wasn't all good, but it was rewarding in some ways, and I learned a lot about myself and my strengths and limitations. I am healthy for the most part, and my self-esteem is slowly getting better. Still a struggle, but I will get there. Perhaps the most exciting thing is- I am about to embark on a great adventure in Chicago. Who knows what will happen. That's the wonderful thing- I can't tell you where I will be in 1 year. For some people that is a nightmare, but to me it feels wonderful. Cameron and I start classes at iO in August, and who knows what will happen? We could be chosen for an improv team at iO within months, or could get another break in another way. We will be meeting so many talented and influential people and having so much fun along the way. Or you know what? NOTHING may happen for us. I may decide to go back to grad school. I may go in Chicago. I may go ahead and get my PhD. Who knows? In the next 3-4 years I will be getting married and starting a family. I know that. What I do with my professional life may always be an adventure. I like to do a lot of things- I like working with kids, I like teaching, I like acting, I like improv, I like singing. The world is my oyster as far as I am concerned. Money is not a worry at this point for us. That is wonderful. We have plenty of money saved up for this move. Enough to where we don't have to worry if there is an emergency or problem in the next few months. When Cam's car is sold within the next 2 weeks- I will have ZERO DEBT. THAT is a great feeling. I am getting married next summer to a great man, and that is a great feeling. And all of my friends and family being involved is making it even better. Life is overall great I would say.

And you might think that there is one piece of the puzzle missing- my job. But actually, that is THE BEST THING about my life right now. I don't know what the hell I am going to do for a job come September. But the great thing is that I have until September to figure it out, and I have plenty of prospects. I have a great resume' with 2 years teaching on it, 4 years of mental health training on it, and 6 years working in theatres onstage and offstage in comedy, drama, and improv. I WILL get a job, and it WILL be fine no matter what. Worst case scenario- Our friend Amy is a personal shopper at Nordstroms here in Dallas, and she let Cam and I know that if we need a job at Nordstrom's in Chicago we have one. Some of their salespeople make 6 figures (usually in SHOES which I am VERY excited about). Not a bad back-up plan...but either way it doesn't matter. I have made great connections with the Parents as Teachers people, and one has let me know that she will have some open positions that she will consider me for in August. She has seen my resume and thinks that I would be a great candidate for PAT. All in all, things look great. I have applied in several areas and submitted my resume to several people, and I have already made great steps- AND I'M NOT EVEN THERE YET! Think of what I can do when I am actually in Chicago in the flesh! Either way- it doesn't matter. In order to do what I want to do with my life, I am willing to make the sacrafices. And I love to make people laugh and perform. If it take a few months working a shitty job that I don't love...it can't be any worse than the past 2 years teaching that I have spent in a small, Southern, narrow-minded sports-crazed town. Life is what you make of it I guess. I know this sort of unplanned existence probably sounds like most of your worst nightmares- but to be honest- it's my dream come true. Being an architect- now THAT sounds like my worse nightmare. Isn't it funny how life works and how different we all are?

About 6 months ago I started noticing that nearly every day I was telling Cameron- "You know what I realized today? I think that (Insert opinion or adage here)". I kept forming these opinions about God, politics, society, myself, etc. and letting him know what they were and discussing and debating them with him. It's like, for the first time, I started forming opinions based on knowledge I had gained, research I had done, experiences I had had, and soul-searching RATHER than forming opinions based on what I learned as a kid or what my parents told me (sorry parents) or what people told me to believe. It felt great. And I was feeling all of these things when I read in the book (Crisis) that people my age generally will find something new out about themselves every day. I was happy to read that, because I thought I was going crazy. I seriously thought I was losing it.

I am starting to feel like for the first time that my career is really secondary to the rest of my life- it's like, when you look back at your life what is really is going to matter are THE RELATIONSHIPS YOU HAVE MADE. (I know, Andy, money matters. Don't worry- I haven't forgot about money and it's importance). If I found out tomorrow that I was going to die in 1 year, what would be most important to me? Friends and family. Whether they were past or present friends, healthy family relationships or tense family relationships, I WOULD RENEW THEM ALL AND MAKE THEM GREAT. I mean, really, who gives a shit about all of the other stuff? How much cool shit you have or what you can bring back to show your friends at your high school reunions or what you drive or what you can brag about- THAT STUFF won't mean ANYTHING.

Particularly in regard to this family, I think there are a lot of burned bridges and a lot of resentments built up over such a long time that should be mended. I mean- just because things have been a certain way ever since we can remember DOESN'T MEAN THEY CAN'T BE FIXED OR IMPROVED. That is crazy. Am I right? Just because we have never expressed our feelings or been very affectionate doesn't mean we can't start. You know? Andy and I are the two closest people in this family and I'm sure that we are known as the 2 biggest assholes. We may be "assholes", but we are the only 2 in THE ENTIRE FAMILY that call each other regularly, visit each other regularly, make decisions as to where we will live based on where the other is living, hug each other, drink an entire bottle of wine and chat for hours, hug each other regularly, and tell each other that we love each other. Pretty strange coming from 2 "assholes" huh? What has happened, in my opinion, to Andy and I both, is that we have reached really strange points in our life- I have realized what is important to me and what makes me happy, and Andy has done the same. He's REALLY gone soft since Marley came into the world. You guys wouldn't believe it. He's really lost his edge. :) Either way, I encourage everyone in this family to let the old stuff go and realize that we are all so much alike. Talk about the old stuff- get it all out on the table. Ask Mom- I write her 5 page long letters telling her how much she's screwed me up. But you know what? Even though those letters may make her feel bad for a couple of days, the ARE MUCH BETTER than me never saying anything at all. Fighting is healthy. Confrontation is healthy. What is UNHEALTHY is bottling everything up. This NON-COMMUNICATION skill that I have learned has ruined a lot of good relationships. And I regret that now. I wish that I had learned to communicate earlier- I wish I had realized that fighting is better than retreating in silence just to "not cause waves." It's much healthier. Actually, now that I think about it, let me add Amy into the mix of healthy relationships. Amy and I are probably as close as Andy and I. We e-mail, we talk, we call each other, we visit each other. She is just my in-law, and look how much we care about each other. Look at this family: we all say "Her butthole is so tight you couldn't drive a flax seed through it with a sledge hammer"; we all know the harmony to "Seven Bridges Road"; and we all know that Chuck Berry is the REAL King of Rock 'n' Roll. We are a family like no other. Why don't we appreciate each other a little more? Why aren't we there for each other? Why don't we want to visit each other? What is the problem? I think the problem is that we have all settled into this place where it is just easier to ignore each other and the problems and keep things the way that they are. But the truth is- at some point this family is going to go through a tough time and we are going to need one another. And no one is going to feel close except for me, Andy, Amy, Marley, and Cameron. We all want to live near one another and be a part of one another's lives. But we are only 5 people out of, like 15? Are we up to 15 counting Greg's little ones? (PS Cam and I LOVE to play with those kids. Have you noticed that when we come home we spend more time outside with Katie, Slater, Britney, Shay, and Slater than we do with the adults? Things are much less complicated inside with the adults). 5 out of 15 in this family. Is that the way that you all want things to be? it's not the way that I want things to be at all.

You know what I am most worried about? Katie. I have been e-mailing her back and forth and text messaging back and forth with her. But when I talk to her on the phone she won't say a word. She has learned the Oyler way- DO NOT SHOW AFFECTION OR EMOTION UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. I can't get a word out of her. Even when I asked her to be a part of my wedding she had nothing to say. It was awkward to me at first, but when I realized that she had learned it from us I understood a little better. WE taught her to not talk to us....by not taking the effort to talk to her and get to know her. Although sometimes I feel like a jerk for trying to start having a relationship with her when she is 13, I just try to reassure myself that IT DOESN'T MATTER when I started the relationship- it just matters that I started it at all. She is about to go through her toughest years, the years when girls make some decisions that affect them for life. And I am afraid because she is going through it without a dad and without her aunts and uncles around her. And mom and dad do a great job- but they are tired, and since I am being honest- are not very easy to be honest with at times. I am afraid that Katie is going to feel like she has no one to talk to, but even worse, she is not going to KNOW HOW TO TALK TO ANYONE anyway. So it wouldn't matter. It's a strange cycle. But I really am determined to break it because I care about her. So that was my Katie speech. Truth be told- I teach high school. I know what happens to girls with low self-esteem- they sleep with guys to get try and get self-esteem. And it doesn't matter if you are pretty, ugly, smart, dumb, mature, or immature: self-esteem is craved by everyone. I am scared for her because I teach girls that remind me of her ALL DAY LONG. I don't want to pretend like I know everything- but I do know about what is like to be a teenage girl with self-esteem issues.

All in all- I just began wanting to tell you how wonderful my life is. I didn't mean to get into all of the family stuff. Also- just to reassure you- I am not drunk or stoned. I'm not even on any medication. Just feeling open and honest I suppose. Didn't mean to get all philosophical or sentimental on you all- but I guess maybe this family could use some of that.

So....I guess that's it. I know I said a lot of personal things in this blog. I will delete it and delete it from the archives so that no one can read it after you all see it. A couple of days I guess. I don't want EVERYONE knowing how screwed up I am.

Lins

Going Away Sadness

Well, Cam and I are putting the final touches on our life here in Dallas and preparing for Chicago. The past two weeks we have had a lot of "lasts"- last times with friends, last times eating at Matt's El Rancho, last times visiting our favorite places. Here are some pics from our "lasts". 2 weeks ago I had graduation at FHS, and last night we had our Going Away Party at Monkey Bar, our favorite local spot. We had a great time.


1st: Me and all of my graduating theatre seniors
2nd: Cam and his friend Dale from PDogs
3rd: Cam and I at dinner
4th: Me and my Dallas BFF Molly


Lins

Just for Andy

Consider this your birthday present, Andy. No questions- just watch.




Call me so that we can chat!

Lins

Spinal Tap

The neurologist says that there is DEFINITELY something wrong with my back and he is concerned about my sciatic nerve.

After doing some research online, I found out that the 3 things that USUALLY cause problems and pain in the sciatic nerve are:



1) Lumbar Bulging or Herniated Disc
A bulging disc is also known as a contained disc disorder. This means the gel-like center (nucleus pulposus) remains 'contained' within the tire-like outer wall (annulus fibrosus) of the disc. A herniated disc occurs when the nucleus breaks through the annulus. It is called a 'non-contained' disc disorder. Whether a disc bulges or herniates, disc material can press against an adjacent nerve root and compress delicate nerve tissue and cause sciatica. The consequences of a herniated disc are worse. Not only does the herniated nucleus cause direct compression of the nerve root against the interior of the bony spinal canal, but the disc material itself also contains an acidic, chemical irritant (hyaluronic acid) that causes nerve inflammation. In both cases, nerve compression and irritation cause inflammation and pain, often leading to extremity numbness, tingling, and muscle weakness.

(2) Lumbar Spinal Stenosis

(What Mom Has)

Spinal stenosis is a nerve compression disorder most often affecting mature people. Leg pain similar to sciatica may occur as a result of lumbar spinal stenosis. The pain is usually positional, often brought on by activities such as standing or walking and relieved by sitting down. Spinal nerve roots branch outward from the spinal cord through passageways called neural foramina comprised of bone and ligaments. Between each set of vertebral bodies, located on the left and right sides, is a foramen. Nerve roots pass through these openings and extend outward beyond the spinal column to innervate other parts of the body. When these passageways become narrow or clogged causing nerve compression, the term foraminal stenosis is used.

(3) Spondylolisthesis

(What Andy Has)

Spondylolisthesis is a disorder that most often affects the lumbar spine. It is characterized by one vertebra slipping forward over an adjacent vertebra. When a vertebra slips and is displaced, spinal nerve root compression occurs and often causes sciatic leg pain. Spondylolisthesis is categorized as developmental (found at birth, develops during childhood) or acquired from spinal degeneration, trauma or physical stress (i.e. weightlifting).

So, pretty much I am screwed. I am getting an MRI today at 6 p.m. I will let you all know when I get the results. But to be honest, I am in so much pain every day that I am HOPING that I have to have surgery. My biggest fear is that they will say "Well, it's (insert condition here), and you are just going to have to learn to live with it because it is not treatable.) I AM SO SCARED OF THAT. I can't live like this. I'm only 24 and I feel 80. I'd rather do 3 months on my back and in a brace than live like this for the next 60+ years.

I know- boo hoo.

Anyway, I will keep you posted.


Lins

Happy Birthday, Andy!!

By the way. Mom and Dad, why was there a toilet and an old washing machine laying in our back yard? Don't we normally talk about those people in less than favorable ways?

Andy's Birthday

I just sent Andy a belated ecard for his birthday. Did you?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDY!

A bad review

Since I only work 4 hours a day I will be blogging a lot more. So it would be awesome if someone could respond. Thanks.



So I know that I usually give good movie reviews, but here is a bad one- we watched "Venus" because Peter O'Toole (yes, he is still kindof alive) got nominated for a Best Actor Oscar for his performance in it. But you can skip this one. It was weird, the theme was vague, and it made me feel weird inside. So- trust me when I say that O'Toole's still got it, and skip the movie.

Lins

Speaking of Mom

So...I want to start a campaign to get mom to go to college. My neighbor just told me about his 60 year old mother who just got her Masters. She just got done, and now she is taking a job with the Center for Disease Control. He says that she has changed 100%. She feels so proud and accomplished and intelligent. I've asked Mom to at least go and get her Associate Degree from CCC because she would feel really proud. Can anyone back me up on this? Let's start pushing.

Lins

If you want to have a kid...

...then watch "March of the Penguins." It is so cute. I know it's kinda old, but if you haven't seen it, do. It's adorable and educational. Mom would love it.

Lins

This is what I do with my time off

...and this is what Will Ferrell does with his kids during his time off. He makes sketches. This is HILARIOUS. You have to watch it-

Darth Vader

This is pretty much the funniest thing ever. This dude took dialogue from other James Earl Jones movies, edited Star Wars and inserted the dialogue. You have GOT to watch it. Hilarious. It's pretty long, but stick with it because the whole thing is hilarious.

Comedy News shows the ONLY place to get actual REAL NEWS?

Al Gore made some interesting points the other day on the Daily Show that I had never thought about before. And if you want the Daily Show you probably agree with him.

In Case Anyone Cares...

Movies again. I've watched 2 awesome ones-


The new (on video) Mel Gibson (directed) film Apocolypto was AWESOME. It is very powerful and interesting. I give it 2 enthusiastic thumbs up. But as a warning, in tradition of his other films (Braveheart and Passion of the Christ), Gibson did not skimp on the graphic violence. It has a lot of violent bloody scenes. But hey- it is realistic. I recommend this film for all of you.


Also- we went to see Knocked Up yesterday in the theatre. It was GREAT. It will make you laugh and cry. It was awesome in all ways. But I will say it's pretty dirty- nudity, language, drug use, and just overall general filthiness. We really loved it. It was actually touching and funny. Amy and Andy would LOVE this film.


That's all for now.